Why I'm Here

With all the travelogue that I have been doing in the past few posts I thought it was important to refocus on the reason that I am here.

Back in 1999 when I was organizing a reunion of people who had participated in a study abroad for six months in London one of my classmates was not able to attend because she had just adopted a baby girl from China. Like me she was single, and I was impressed that she had taken this important step to start her family and provide a home to a child on her own. I have always felt that a man could do anything a woman could do--and that includes nurturing and raising a child.

In the years that followed I entered into a new profession--I had taught public school for six years and I ran a B&B for two years. Finally I found a job that I loved, librarianship, that was stress free enough to allow me to consider expanding my responsibilities.

In late 2004 I was moving toward making my final decision. I booked a trip to Belize that included kayaking around the small islands off the coast of that country. Most of the others on the excursion were single like me, but there was a family of five. The father of the family was my kayaking partner one day, and he talked about how much he enjoyed being a father. I came home after the New Year 2005 and was ready to start the paperwork.

Options were limited for a single man who wanted to adopt. China was a possibility but back then the long wait seemed endless to me (I could not envision back then that I would STILL be waiting to get my child in 2007). Vietnam would have certainly been my first choice--I studied the language in undergraduate school, I worked with the Vietnamese community in the U.S. as a missionary, and Vietnamese culture was one of the focuses when I studied Asian literature and theatre as a graduate student at University of Hawaii. But the country was closed for adoption when I began and I felt I had to start before I got any older.

So I chose Ukraine and started a series of twists and turns that lead to me being registered for well over a year with the offices in Ukraine but I did not receive an appointment to come to Kyiv and find my child. In the meantime Vietnam reopened for adoptions and I worked with my social worker to find an agency. Finally in November 2006 I decided to make the leap and contacted the BCIS asking them to switch my status and I signed up with the agency for an adoption from Vietnam.

11 January 2007

In February 2007 I received a referral for a little boy named Tien Duc. Here is the first photo I saw of him. He looks very small and is around six months old.

15 March

I receive my first set of photo updates. I liked the way they had tried to make the photo look professional, with the faux fur spread. I decided to name him Henry Duc.

1 May

The next updates came a month and a half later. I wasn't accustomed yet to getting periodic updates--I remember how pleasantly surprised I was at work to get these photos. And he is pushing himself up here, it was reassuring to see him developing.

May CD

The agency representative Olga was in Vietnam in May and brought back a CD of photos that were taken some time the first week or two. Henry Duc and other children living with him had come down with a bout of chicken pox. It was distressing to see him look so melancholy.

1 June

Happily the next set of photos that came just a couple of weeks later included Henry Duc smiling and looking very content. What a relief.

7 July

I found this photo to be kind of humorous--it seems like they got the camera too close to him and his eyes almost cross to try and look at it.

7 August

The last updates that I am going to receive came a couple of weeks before I flew to Vietnam. They included this photo of Henry Duc attempting to stand and holding himself on the bed rail, while a fan blows behind him. This reminds me that he is now in a non-air-conditioned place and I have to be very careful about transitioning him into a cooler environment.

It also makes me wish I could have gotten him before now. He will be well over a year old by the time I take custody of him (hopefully within two weeks) and there is a lot I have missed. But I have been told he is in a caring and safe environment so that reassures me.