Finding a Routine

Today is my first day back at work and Henry's first full day at the children's center. They give him breakfast there, but I ended up having to feed him some hot cereal before we left home anyway because he was so hungry, and it's a 25 minute drive to the campus.

He cried when I dropped him off, but at least he was in a high chair and they were putting food in front of him as some distraction. Then I called around 11 (when they put them down for a nap) and I went over there at 1:30. I didn't let him see me but I did look around the corner at him and I spoke with the caregivers. They seemed to think he was doing fine. I don't think he was eating as much as they wanted--he is going to have to learn to feed himself like they expect. They did give him two bottles which is hungrily took.
Here is my somewhat haphazard photo of the mirror looking into the back seat. This is the view I have as I drive to work--note the expansive countryside. I rarely pass any traffic except in the small town I pass through halfway to work. Henry also watched me from that mirror--I guess with an hour a day in the car we will become very accustomed to looking at each other by way of that mirror.

Back to the Grind

I spent Monday and Tuesday at the campus children's center getting Henry accustomed to the caretakers and the other children. He seemed to adapt more quickly than we had anticipated and I am going to try and go back to work tomorrow. If anything happens I am just two minutes away.

Henry has adjusted to his new life really well. I have gradually gotten him up later and later. When we first got back he was getting up at 4 AM. This morning he still hadn't started crying at 6:30 and when I went in to get him he was awake but just looking around the room.

I've decided to reguster Henry under his "legal" birthdate which puts him at 14 months. There are many changes that take place at 18 months and I just don't think Henry is ready for that after so many other recent changes.

Thanksgiving

We had a busy Thanksgiving. Thursday itself was fairly quiet--we stayed home and ate next door with my mother and Harold. I had to run to my office and also had to run to the store to buy some things. Wal Mart is open anytime--holiday, day, night, whatever.

Then on Friday we went over to my friends' Buddy and Jennifer's house. Henry played with their three children--Noah, Presley, and Chandler. They were really good with him. I was nervous about how he would interact--he was very shy back in Vietnam during the few times we got together with the other families--Gary & Sue and Bau with their chilcren Sara and Kevin. On Saturday I picked up my 92 year old grandmother and drove her to my aunt's house for a big meal. My cousin Sean and his wife Teri and their two children were there. Teri was really good with Henry. He ate dressing and vegetables and a little bit of turkey.

I have been very pleased with Henry's move toward socializing with our family and friends. He is exactly what I dreamed about when I started this whole process so long ago, and I couldn't be happier.

Visit to a doctor

Henry had his first doctor visit yesterday. He was weighed at 18 pounds 13 ounces. He weas weighed at 8.3 kilograms at the clinic in HCMC, so I think he's gained half a pound. He has had no vaccinations before, so he got five yesterday and they drew blood from a finger. Going by what I think is the most accurate of the four birthdates I have been given the doctor put him at 3% for weight, 5% for height, and 15% for head size. She recommended that I think about going to a specialist to get fitted for a helmet to reshape his head. It is slightly out of shape from laying in the crib so much. She also recommended against circumcision and she showed me how to clean the uncircumicised penis.

The exam went pretty well. He screamed while he was being held down to be stuck but immediately stopped and seemed to suffer no lasting effect other than sleeping all through the night.

I went by the campus daycare to see about enrolling him soon. The director was concerned about how attached and clingy he is to me and how he doesn't want to go to anybody else. After some discussion it was decided that I would attend daycare with him next week for half a day and then come home--so I won't be starting work next week. Then if all is going well the week after that I will go back to work for half a day.

They also said I have to have him off the bottle by January because his age group must be on a sippy cup. He can still take formula, but from the cup. So now I have my work cut out for me--continue to bond with him and let him know that I will be here for him, but at the same time get him accustomed to spending some time away from me and also transition him to the cup.

I think I really will benefit from the campus daycare's routine. I don't have much of a routine myself and I need to force myself to live a routine with Henry.

Intro to Rural Texas Life

On Friday Henry had his first trip to the great mecca of rural Texas--Wal Mart. There really is no other place in these parts to buy the supplies I need. The only alternative is a grocery store.

We started the day by driving to the university where I work to get Henry signed up on my health insurance. We went by the library to introduce him to all the people who I work with. As always he is shy with strangers, especially men.

I got a referral for a couple of doctors. I have to get him vaccinated before the campus daycare will take him. I have an appointment for next Monday, but I think it will take two visits for him to get all the shots he is supposed to have by this age.

Henry has gradually gotten better adjusted. The first night, last Thursday, I had to sleep on my back with him laying on my stomach. Friday and Saturday nights are a blur because that is when I was so sick. I tried to put him in his bed and he cried, so he slept in my bed. Then last night I put him in his bed and he did okay.

HOME at last!

After a bit of a fiasco we made it to the Hanoi airport. We had paid the hotel for the same van that picked us up to take us to the airport, since we have so much luggage. We paid twenty dollars each way, which is over twice what taxis are supposed to charge. But when we got ready to leave a regular taxi showed up. It was too late to argue or call anyone else. Unbelievably we crammed ourselves and our luggage into the trunk and both seats. My mother and I and Henry sat in one half of the small backseat.

Japan Airlines was very baby friendly. We were boarded before everyone else and given a bassinet, a package of toys, and diapers. Henry slept pretty good for the five hour flight, and we were able to enjoy our meals.
I took him out of the bassinet to feed him. I found baby food fruit the day before we left in Hanoi. That is a story in itself. Three other times I took a taxi to the consulate and they charged 32000 to 37000 dong. The last day I was really in a hurry--had to be there by four to get the documents, they close at five, and the plane left at midnight so I had that one day to get them. I caught a taxi at the same place as always, I knew immediately that it was a ripoff, but there wasn't time for anything else. His meter was turning over like a gasoline pump. By the time we got to the consulate it was over 140,000 dong.

I quickly got my documents and could see the driver outside the window, waiting to return me at four times the price. Nonconfrontational that I am, I slipped out the side, went across the street to an electronic store and then went into the grocery store next door, were happily I found the baby food. I then walked a block or two and found another taxi and returned to the hotel for the regular honest price.
We had a six hour layover in Tokyo. They had a really nice playroom with a nursery section to make up formula.
Henry liked the carpet. Most of the rooms we have been in have had ceramic tiles--cold and hard.
Henry was able to climb up the slide with a little help.

He didn't go down the slide, just stood there and looked.
His legs have gotten bigger since I have been feeding him solid food. I expect him to walk soon.
This snuggli was so valuable. It left my arms free. The only downside was that it was very hot.
American Airlines had called two days earlier to confirm that we had a bassinet for the ten hour flight from Tokyo to DFW. But when we got to the gate we were told the one bassinet had been given to a couple with a three month old. It was very frustrating, but my mother managed to argue with them to give us three seats so we wouldn't just have Henry in our laps the whole time.
It was pretty exhausting because he wants to roll around and there was nothing to stop him. He was asleep soon after takeoff, and then two stewardesses came and woke him up. He fell asleep again and we both dozed off and he rolled off in the floor. He never really slept well after that. He screamed for a long time in the middle of the night and there was no way to get him to be quiet. Two of the stewardesses came and helped me quiet him down. I'm not sure if other passengers were disturbed--with the earphones in I don't think he could have been heard over the roar of the plane and the music or movie.

We arrived on time at DFW and went through customs and immigration. We finally made it home and I am exhausted.

An Apple Cleft in Two.....

An apple cleft in two is not more twin
Than these two creatures.
(Twelfth Night, Shakespeare, 5,1,l. 223-4.)

Ben & Henry

Now that I have the visa and fly out in a couple of hours I will tell "the rest of the story"--at least so far.

I've known for some time that Henry is a twin. I don't know why he and his brother were separated. The agency representative here in Vietnam, who finally under intense questioning did admit that they are in fact twins, said that the orphanage made the decision to adopt them out separately. I suppose as far as they are concerned an adopted child is being separated from both biological family and culture and a twin may seem like one more sibling Maybe they felt that each child would get better care and treatment if they were adopted singly. Certainly both were severely malnourished and near death when they were relinquished almost a year ago.

Henry's twin Ben is with his new parents Joe and Katie--see their blog at http://www.journey4babyben.blogspot.com/. I have been in frequent communication via both email and telephone with them. My mother has met them as well as Ben. We are anxious to develop an ongoing relationship and make each other part of our extended family, assuring that the boys have continued contact with each other.

It is a situation not of our making but we are making it the best possible experience that we can for our boys. I am excited to get home and meet Joe and Katie face to face and watch the reunion of Henry and Ben.