A New Slide

I found a new slide for Henry. It is bigger than the other one, and has less to hold on to. He immediately climbed up and slid down with no fear.

The situation in Vietnam

After a long period of relative quietness things developed quickly over the weekend. On Friday the US side issued its report, which detailed instances of corruption. Then on Monday Mr. Long from the DIA issued his response, which was a rejection of the US findings and the announcement that dossiers for new adoptions will only be accepted until July 1.

It appears that each side has drawn a line in the sand and if nothing changes adoptions of Vietnamese children by US citizens will wind down in late summer. I know that many people who are in the process of getting their paperwork filed are upset. I remember how frazzled I was when I started the adoption process--in January 2005. It took me nearly three years to bring Henry home. I hope that those who are discouraged will keep hope for the future of their families.

In my opinion there is a gap between what the US finds acceptable and what Vietnam finds acceptable. Reading the response Dr. Long says bribing of some officials may take place but he vehemently denies that any "baby buying" is taking place. It seems that Vietnam has no problem with paying officials a little extra. I've read about the same thing in Ukraine--they call it "expedite fees" but in the US we would call it a bribe. It's accepted and not considered illegal or unethical there. That is just one example, I'm sure there are other examples where there are cultural clashes.

Maybe it all needs to come down to the Hague convention and both countries deciding to abide by that agreement. It is an international agreement that seeks to bridge the differences that seem to be causing so many problems now. I am hopeful that a solution will be found one way or another.

I don't know much beyond my own experience. I'm so pleased that I was able to bring Henry to Texas and make him part of my family. I'm happy that we were able to find Joe and Katie and reunite Henry with his brother, and that all of us are amenable to maintaining a close (if geographically distant) relationship.

Six months ago (tomorrow) I picked up Henry

Six months ago today I was excitedly getting ready to get up the next day and finally pick up my new son at the orphanage. I was exhausted and not feeling well after traveling to Danang to attend Loc and Hoi's wedding. Luckily they had decided to honeymooon in Saigon and were anxious to travel with my mother and me to pick him up.

After a long van ride from Saigon to the orphanage in Binh Duong we sat in a meeting room with a large portrait of Ho Chi Minh. I was given a copy of my long awaited "third letter" from the DIA granting me final approval. Then we were ushered to the second floor and around a corner and there I saw Henry whipping around in a baby walker like a little spider. It was so incredible to see him in real life after having looked for months at photo updates of him.

Now almost six months later I can't imagine my life without him. He understands what I say to him now, even though he doesn't completely verbalize himself. I can tell him "Say Daddy" and he will say "Da-da". Lately he seems to really want me to read books to him. He will grab book after book with one hand and grab my hand with his other hand and put the book into my hand and then crawl up into my lap. Then before I've even finished the book (which tend to be fairly short board books) he is up and racing for another one. Then instead of waiting for me to read he will point at the pictures and babble himself as if he is telling me the story.

I have the six month report delivered to me by our social worker Susan. It is very positive--she took notes on lots of things that happened while she was at the house last Saturday and wrote them down. That report and some photos will be sent off to Vietnam for my first update.
And we do watch a little television--here he is in his couch potato recliner enjoying a drink while he watches our favorite show--Beverly Hillbillies. I guess soon he will develop his own favorite shows and that will be what we watch.

Vietnam adoptions in flux

The US embassy in Hanoi issued a rather lengthy statement today found at:

http://vietnam.usembassy.gov/irreg_adoptions042508.html

I really did feel like I was in a burning building while I was in Vietnam. as bumpy as my adoption of Henry as well as the adoptions of Sara and Kevin by their families were last November, it seems that things have only gotten more problematic. We were really lucky to get grandfathered under the the old I-600 rules because we really were on the cusp of the beginning of the time of turmoil. I feel like we left with the adoption door hitting us in the behind on our way out. Adoptions have continued sporadically and sparsely in other provinces and with other agencies, but now that seems to be waning as well.

The report has hit the news--I've read about it at MSNBC and CNN as well as other sources. Hopefully things will get sorted out and a better way of doing things will be reached.

Busy Weekend

On Saturday our social worker came to give us the six month check up. All went really well, Henry was very well behaved. In fact it was like he was performing. I catalogued most of our experiences to her and we await the report to send off to Vietnam.

In the afternoon Henry went to a birthday party for a little boy from the Children's Center. Henry was by far the youngest and the smallest child there, but he still managed to find things like the car (below) to interest himself. He did not eat much cake and did not like the snow cones. They had a tricycle with a handle in back for me to push him--he did like that.
On Sunday we went to church. I still freak out over Henry making noise in the big meeting (the Sacrament meeting)--I got up just before the service began and moved into an adjacent classroom that is equipped with a speaker from the chapel because I was afraid he would be too difficult to deal with.
After that Henry goes into the nursery, where (with help from the teacher) he produced the drawing below. I'm sure the figures were drawn by the teacher and the scribbles were Henry's contribution, but it still made me happy to see it.

The Week of the Child

The Children's Center here on campus has been celebrating the Week of the Child this week. Tuesday they had a lecture on discipline, but I work that night so I couldn't go. Earlier in the day they had a carnival for the kids. I am not sure what they did, but Henry had a wash off tattoo, leftover cotton candy, and a goldfish in a bag. They went to the children's museum on Wednesday, and on Thursday they had a dinner for the parents and children. It was a pretty fun week.

Tomorrow the social worker is coming for the six month visit. She was supposed to come last week but had to cancel. After her morning visit we have a birthday party to attend. This will be the first thing we've done that isn't through my friends, but through Henry's friends. It's a party for a little boy from the Children's Center. Then in the evening I hope to stop and see Kevin on the way to a wedding reception. So tomorrow will definitely be a very busy day.

Here are some more pictures I took of my father and Henry I took last week while he was visiting us.

The orphanage at Binh Duong

Now that I have figured out how to post videos here is the one Loc took the day I picked Henry up at the orphanage at Binh Duong. Henry was screaming whereas Kevin and and Sara, who were also picked up by their parents that day, were placid and content. I didn't get to ask the questions I wanted to ask, you can see me writing them down at one point. Thankfully Bao who speaks Vietnamese had a good conversation with the caregivers and passed on the information to me.



Adoptive parents who are waiting to pick up their children from this orphanage have asked me about the province and the process of adopting there. I don't think they have done many adoptions, it seems like they are still figuring out the process. The orphanage had a good reputation with the USCIS and Mary Ann Russell. The Vietnamese man who facilitated my adoption of Henry with AII was affiliated with the orphanage. The nuns that my mother knew asked questions amongst their contacts and he had a good reputation within the Catholic community.

My understanding is that AII has changed facilitators. In the long run that will probably make things run smoother. I don't know anything about the new man or the connections that he might have within the local provincial government. What I can say reassuring to those who are waiting is that the caregivers at the orphanage seemed to genuinely care about the children. Henry seemed very attached to the older man and to the woman in pink. The older children also seemed involved with caring for the children. So in spite of whatever other problems might be delaying the process I think the children are cared for well.