Finding a Routine

Today is my first day back at work and Henry's first full day at the children's center. They give him breakfast there, but I ended up having to feed him some hot cereal before we left home anyway because he was so hungry, and it's a 25 minute drive to the campus.

He cried when I dropped him off, but at least he was in a high chair and they were putting food in front of him as some distraction. Then I called around 11 (when they put them down for a nap) and I went over there at 1:30. I didn't let him see me but I did look around the corner at him and I spoke with the caregivers. They seemed to think he was doing fine. I don't think he was eating as much as they wanted--he is going to have to learn to feed himself like they expect. They did give him two bottles which is hungrily took.
Here is my somewhat haphazard photo of the mirror looking into the back seat. This is the view I have as I drive to work--note the expansive countryside. I rarely pass any traffic except in the small town I pass through halfway to work. Henry also watched me from that mirror--I guess with an hour a day in the car we will become very accustomed to looking at each other by way of that mirror.

Back to the Grind

I spent Monday and Tuesday at the campus children's center getting Henry accustomed to the caretakers and the other children. He seemed to adapt more quickly than we had anticipated and I am going to try and go back to work tomorrow. If anything happens I am just two minutes away.

Henry has adjusted to his new life really well. I have gradually gotten him up later and later. When we first got back he was getting up at 4 AM. This morning he still hadn't started crying at 6:30 and when I went in to get him he was awake but just looking around the room.

I've decided to reguster Henry under his "legal" birthdate which puts him at 14 months. There are many changes that take place at 18 months and I just don't think Henry is ready for that after so many other recent changes.

Thanksgiving

We had a busy Thanksgiving. Thursday itself was fairly quiet--we stayed home and ate next door with my mother and Harold. I had to run to my office and also had to run to the store to buy some things. Wal Mart is open anytime--holiday, day, night, whatever.

Then on Friday we went over to my friends' Buddy and Jennifer's house. Henry played with their three children--Noah, Presley, and Chandler. They were really good with him. I was nervous about how he would interact--he was very shy back in Vietnam during the few times we got together with the other families--Gary & Sue and Bau with their chilcren Sara and Kevin. On Saturday I picked up my 92 year old grandmother and drove her to my aunt's house for a big meal. My cousin Sean and his wife Teri and their two children were there. Teri was really good with Henry. He ate dressing and vegetables and a little bit of turkey.

I have been very pleased with Henry's move toward socializing with our family and friends. He is exactly what I dreamed about when I started this whole process so long ago, and I couldn't be happier.

Visit to a doctor

Henry had his first doctor visit yesterday. He was weighed at 18 pounds 13 ounces. He weas weighed at 8.3 kilograms at the clinic in HCMC, so I think he's gained half a pound. He has had no vaccinations before, so he got five yesterday and they drew blood from a finger. Going by what I think is the most accurate of the four birthdates I have been given the doctor put him at 3% for weight, 5% for height, and 15% for head size. She recommended that I think about going to a specialist to get fitted for a helmet to reshape his head. It is slightly out of shape from laying in the crib so much. She also recommended against circumcision and she showed me how to clean the uncircumicised penis.

The exam went pretty well. He screamed while he was being held down to be stuck but immediately stopped and seemed to suffer no lasting effect other than sleeping all through the night.

I went by the campus daycare to see about enrolling him soon. The director was concerned about how attached and clingy he is to me and how he doesn't want to go to anybody else. After some discussion it was decided that I would attend daycare with him next week for half a day and then come home--so I won't be starting work next week. Then if all is going well the week after that I will go back to work for half a day.

They also said I have to have him off the bottle by January because his age group must be on a sippy cup. He can still take formula, but from the cup. So now I have my work cut out for me--continue to bond with him and let him know that I will be here for him, but at the same time get him accustomed to spending some time away from me and also transition him to the cup.

I think I really will benefit from the campus daycare's routine. I don't have much of a routine myself and I need to force myself to live a routine with Henry.

Intro to Rural Texas Life

On Friday Henry had his first trip to the great mecca of rural Texas--Wal Mart. There really is no other place in these parts to buy the supplies I need. The only alternative is a grocery store.

We started the day by driving to the university where I work to get Henry signed up on my health insurance. We went by the library to introduce him to all the people who I work with. As always he is shy with strangers, especially men.

I got a referral for a couple of doctors. I have to get him vaccinated before the campus daycare will take him. I have an appointment for next Monday, but I think it will take two visits for him to get all the shots he is supposed to have by this age.

Henry has gradually gotten better adjusted. The first night, last Thursday, I had to sleep on my back with him laying on my stomach. Friday and Saturday nights are a blur because that is when I was so sick. I tried to put him in his bed and he cried, so he slept in my bed. Then last night I put him in his bed and he did okay.

HOME at last!

After a bit of a fiasco we made it to the Hanoi airport. We had paid the hotel for the same van that picked us up to take us to the airport, since we have so much luggage. We paid twenty dollars each way, which is over twice what taxis are supposed to charge. But when we got ready to leave a regular taxi showed up. It was too late to argue or call anyone else. Unbelievably we crammed ourselves and our luggage into the trunk and both seats. My mother and I and Henry sat in one half of the small backseat.

Japan Airlines was very baby friendly. We were boarded before everyone else and given a bassinet, a package of toys, and diapers. Henry slept pretty good for the five hour flight, and we were able to enjoy our meals.
I took him out of the bassinet to feed him. I found baby food fruit the day before we left in Hanoi. That is a story in itself. Three other times I took a taxi to the consulate and they charged 32000 to 37000 dong. The last day I was really in a hurry--had to be there by four to get the documents, they close at five, and the plane left at midnight so I had that one day to get them. I caught a taxi at the same place as always, I knew immediately that it was a ripoff, but there wasn't time for anything else. His meter was turning over like a gasoline pump. By the time we got to the consulate it was over 140,000 dong.

I quickly got my documents and could see the driver outside the window, waiting to return me at four times the price. Nonconfrontational that I am, I slipped out the side, went across the street to an electronic store and then went into the grocery store next door, were happily I found the baby food. I then walked a block or two and found another taxi and returned to the hotel for the regular honest price.
We had a six hour layover in Tokyo. They had a really nice playroom with a nursery section to make up formula.
Henry liked the carpet. Most of the rooms we have been in have had ceramic tiles--cold and hard.
Henry was able to climb up the slide with a little help.

He didn't go down the slide, just stood there and looked.
His legs have gotten bigger since I have been feeding him solid food. I expect him to walk soon.
This snuggli was so valuable. It left my arms free. The only downside was that it was very hot.
American Airlines had called two days earlier to confirm that we had a bassinet for the ten hour flight from Tokyo to DFW. But when we got to the gate we were told the one bassinet had been given to a couple with a three month old. It was very frustrating, but my mother managed to argue with them to give us three seats so we wouldn't just have Henry in our laps the whole time.
It was pretty exhausting because he wants to roll around and there was nothing to stop him. He was asleep soon after takeoff, and then two stewardesses came and woke him up. He fell asleep again and we both dozed off and he rolled off in the floor. He never really slept well after that. He screamed for a long time in the middle of the night and there was no way to get him to be quiet. Two of the stewardesses came and helped me quiet him down. I'm not sure if other passengers were disturbed--with the earphones in I don't think he could have been heard over the roar of the plane and the music or movie.

We arrived on time at DFW and went through customs and immigration. We finally made it home and I am exhausted.

An Apple Cleft in Two.....

An apple cleft in two is not more twin
Than these two creatures.
(Twelfth Night, Shakespeare, 5,1,l. 223-4.)

Ben & Henry

Now that I have the visa and fly out in a couple of hours I will tell "the rest of the story"--at least so far.

I've known for some time that Henry is a twin. I don't know why he and his brother were separated. The agency representative here in Vietnam, who finally under intense questioning did admit that they are in fact twins, said that the orphanage made the decision to adopt them out separately. I suppose as far as they are concerned an adopted child is being separated from both biological family and culture and a twin may seem like one more sibling Maybe they felt that each child would get better care and treatment if they were adopted singly. Certainly both were severely malnourished and near death when they were relinquished almost a year ago.

Henry's twin Ben is with his new parents Joe and Katie--see their blog at http://www.journey4babyben.blogspot.com/. I have been in frequent communication via both email and telephone with them. My mother has met them as well as Ben. We are anxious to develop an ongoing relationship and make each other part of our extended family, assuring that the boys have continued contact with each other.

It is a situation not of our making but we are making it the best possible experience that we can for our boys. I am excited to get home and meet Joe and Katie face to face and watch the reunion of Henry and Ben.

Embassy Interview and Temple of Literature

I got up bright and early and took a taxi to the consular office to turn in my visa packet. I was going to hire a motorbike to take me, but it was sprinkling when I set out and I chickened out and went by taxi. I had been told I wouldn't have to wait in line but I couldn't get the guards to understand that. As a result I got there at 8:30, got through the security checks by 8:45, and was forced to stand in line with Vietnamese nationals waiting for immigrant visas until 9:45. When I finally got to the front of the line the person behind the glass told me I wasn't supposed to wait in line but should have just gone to the private interview room. Well, at least I didn't have Henry with me to have to stand and wait all that time.

I decided to walk back to the hotel--a pretty great distance but I wanted to make a stop at the Temple of Literature. This is the Temple of Literature--how could I be in Hanoi and NOT go to a place called the Temple of Literature? This is a centuries old place of learning dedicated to Confucius and the site of the first university in Vietnam.
These four pillars mark the entrance to the Temple--the four pillars of Confucianism.

There are five courtyards, one within the other.
Below is the Well of Heavenly Clarity.
There are dozens of stelea--stone markers on turtles' backs that have the name of graduates going back hundreds of years engraved on them.

The central courtyard had the obligatory gift shop--one of which had an assortment of water puppets.

This is the central courtyard, a shrine to learning.
There are four pools with lotus blossoms in them in the outer courtyards.

I got home with just an hour and a half to bathe Henry and dress him in his sailor outfit for his trip to the embassy. We had a 2 PM interview appointment and they said I must bring him. My mother has been sick since we got to Hanoi--she's really been sick since we went to Hoi An. She went out once since we got here to Hanoi and felt worse so she has stayed in the room to conserve her strength for the long trip home.

The visit to the consular office wasn't too difficult to do by myself. I strapped Henry in a snuggli and had a backpack with our supplies and it was a two dollar taxi ride there and back. I got there around 1:30 but didn't get called until 2:30. There were about ten other families there with infants and one family with older children--looked like a boy of around six and a girl around four years of age.

The interview was simple. I wouldn't even call it an interview. I signed a paper saying I would have Henry immunized when I get back to the US and I said I filled the form out accurately to the best of my knowledge. Then I paid the fee and was told to come back tomorrow to pick up the visa. I don't know why I had to bring Henry--nobody looked at him except the other parents. But it was fun to dress him up. This little suit is what he wore to the interview in HCMC with Mary Anne Russell. He has gained weight since then and it barely fits him now.

So it's all done except the plane ride home--which I'm sure will have its ups and downs. But thank goodness I got a phone call today confirming that I do have a bassinette for both legs of the trip home.

My last night in Vietnam. After a night on the plane we will be home!

Water Puppet Theatre

The day before yesterday I walked all the way around the lake looking for the puppet theatre. Yesterday with a better map I found it--only a couple of blocks from my hotel in the Old Quarter.

Henry enjoys our new room so much. There is a mattress on the floor where he can play and we don't have to worry about him falling off. And the twin beds can be pushed together so he can play on them with less anxiety about him falling off.
I ventured out at 2:30 to buy a ticket for the puppet show's 4 o'clock performance. It turned out all is booked for the next several days, but they did have one seat for the 2:45 show so I went right in.
The plot is much like the show in Saigon. The theatre is bigger and better and has a much better sound system. There were a few changes here and there. The above scene was somewhat like the other, but it included the man being pulled out of his boat by a big fish.
I did have a better program and could tell what was going on more. I thought this man and woman were catching ducks when I saw it in Saigon, but it turns out they are frogs. And what I thought was a cat that was interfering with them is actually a fox. They did not have the part where the man beats the fox/cat almost to death.

I don't remember this scene in the Saigon show. A young boy returns from college, his parents meet him, his mother has a baby strapped to her back. Meanwhile Le Loi, a famous Vietnamese historical figure, is also returning and they watch his entourage.
This scene was in both shows--three groups of boys race in boats.
This is basically the finale--twelve women puppets dance to a slow and elegant number.
For a few moments the bamboo curtain raised and we saw how the puppeteers control the puppets.
The puppeteers and the orchestra take their bows.

After the show I walked to the end of the lake where I was told there was a grocery store. What I found was much like the Tax Trade Center in Saigon. Then since I was already halfway around the lake I decided to continue around and make a full circle. Along the way I passed St. Joseph Cathedral. The location is much lovelier than Notre Dame in Saigon. There was a mass going on and standing room only with people lined up on the steps.
After I got home I gave Henry a bath in the shower. He really loves to be washed now--it's hard to imagine he used to scream. I know he will love the tub when I get him home.
This morning I walked to American Airlines to find out about a bassinette seat. I had trouble getting them on the phone and decided to just walk. It was a long way, but along the way I bought a genuine water puppet and also one of the women wearing a conical hat that my mother wanted. Also I got one of those paddle boards with four chickens that look like they are pecking the ground for food.
This is the far end of the lake, our hotel is on the top end. This is a good example of how beautiful the streets are here with the tall stately trees.
I sat down for a few moments of quiet contemplation but was soon approached by somebody wanting to take me around on a motorbike. The solitude was nice while it lasted!

So now I have to go over my paperwork to get ready to submit it to the embassy tomorrow. I hope the hard part is behind me and this is just a formality. I won't feel like Henry is truly mine until I get past this and get him back to the US.

Day Two in Hanoi

Henry wakes up without screaming now. Occasionally he goes into fits and I guess it is that last incisor coming in. Hopefully it will be in before the plane ride. Speaking of which I am trying to get in touch with the airline to make sure we have a bassinette for the ride home.
Here is the street around the corner from the hotel. I tried to make a simple walk around the block--but the corners are not square so I ended up lost. I turned around a retraced my path before I couldn't even remember where I came from. From now on I will at least carry the business card for the hotel when I venture out so I can catch a ride back.

This is the lake that is near our hotel, I think Hoan Kiem or something like that. It is really beautiful. I must say Hanoi is more beautiful than Saigon. The area we are in is called the Old Quarter, it is over 500 years old and more or less unchanged. There are hundreds of little shops within a few hundred yards of the hotel.
It is a thirty minute walk around the lake, and the lake is around two blocks from the hotel. Luckily it is a straight walk to the lake so it would be hard for me to get lost as long as I can find the lake.
I walked around yesterday looking for the puppet theatre to buy a ticket. I walked past it as all I had was the small map on the back of the hotel business card. Today I am going to go out with a better map and I think I can easily find it. I would also like to go to the Hoa Lo Prison (known to the US as Hanoi Hilton), the Temple of Literature, St. Joseph Cathedral. I think that is all.
Henry has discovered his shadow and enjoys waving his hands and moving his head as he watches his shadow move. I tried to capture it in a photo but of course it is very difficult to get him to continue what he is doing when he knows a camera is there, and then the flash washes out the shadow anyway. He also enjoys looking into the large mirrors. We are moving rooms in a few minutes, from the fourth to the first floor. Maybe my mother can venture out when there is just a half flight of stairs instead of five. I'll also be glad to move because I broke a cup yesterday. I ran over the floor with a towel but I fear there could still be a shard of glass that flew under something or in a corner and I'll feel safer when we've shifted.