I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can!

Two years ago I was on a panel at the ALA conference in New Orelans called "I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can". It was about balancing family responsibilities while working as a librarian. I hadn't adopted Henry yet--he was born less than a week before that date and I didn't hear about him until February 2007. But I had already set up as best I could the steps to juggle my life and work.

Things have changed alot--as I indicated in my talk they would. In the past I was always the one to drop everything and stay late at work when somebody didn't show up or got sick and left or some scheduling confusion left things unattended. As a result by the time I adopted Henry I had over a hundred hours of comp time that I had worked over and above my regularly assigned hours--and no foreseeable way to work them off. It was like being on a treadmill that I couldn't get off of--I felt compelled to keep the library attended at a high caliber in detriment to my own private and work schedule.

It's totally different now. It is interesting to talk to other librarians hee at ALA about the season of changes that people go through as they are raising children and the rest of the staff kicks in to back them up. It has been an adjustment to me to expect that and to allow that to happen.

And with the work expectation of attending and participating in conferences I am glad for those like ALA that provide child care. Not every conference does that. Henry was uneasy being left the first day, but now on the third day he was complacent--now that he knows I will come to pick him up at the end of the day.
We arrived in Santa Ana airport after leaving at 5 AM. I had a hard time finding parking--the first two lots were full. It was a dash to get to the gate but we made it, even though I was putting Henry's shoes on as we were boarding the plane. I sat next to a retired librarian and on the other side of her was another man with a baby. Henry was really good on the three hour flight. I didn't get up--planes are so crowded now. I did manage to change his diaper in my lap--at the time he needed it there was a six or eight person line to the one rest room. I guess with all the budget cuts they have also cut down on the number of toilets on planes.
Henry enjoys the room, although it did take me three days of asking to get a crib in the room. The first two nights had lots of waking up and I was constantly watching to see that he didn't roll out of bed. I moved back and forth between the beds. But last night with the crib things went really well and we both had a good sleep.
I brought a little travel stroller. It's hard to push because it two or three inches too short for me. As a result I have to bend over slightly to push. But it's a lot easier than nothing. I have had to walk a mile twice to a grocery store for soy milk. Yesterday I bought some medicine--Henry has a slight ear infection. It is not bad enough that he has a fever but it is sore and draining.
We've only eaten out once. I guess from seeing Henry color that he is right handed. I have never given him anything to write with.
I will have to write more about all the things I have learned and heard about libraries and working as a librarian. I am thinking I will start another blog that is library related. So much of the technology of libraries has changed, and librarians are on the cutting edge of the growing number of changes in the internet and the changing expectations and skills of the millenium generation.

Off to Anaheim for ALA annual conference tomorrow!

We fly out tomorrow for six days in the Anaheim area. I will be attending the annual conference of the American Library Association (www.ala.org), which thankfully has child care. Things will be pretty busy while I am there, but I am hoping to see some old friends in the evening and also take a day off to see Gary and Sue and their daughter Sara. We met in Vietnam and picked up our children the same day from the orphanage in Binh Duong. Their blog is www.macklisfamily.blogspot.com.
Henry and I have been making a regular appearance at the small lake on campus. Sometimes we go in the early morning before I drop him off, sometimes we go in the afternoon after I pick him up (though it is usually very hot then). He has learned to throw food to the ducks and seemed especially interested in the small baby ducklings.
The geese stand about as tall as Henry, and probably weigh about the same. They are a little more aggressive about wanting food, but if you keep throwing it at them they will leave you alone.

They just relandscaped the area around the lake and also added a drain. There is a nice concrete walkway going around, making it a nice spot for walking and watching the wildlife.
Henry enjoys bathtime, but doesn't like to spend a lot of time in the water. He is much more at ease with water since we visited the public waterpark in Houston. Lately he has even started putting his face down in the water, but he still does not like to be lain flat on his back. Here he is playing with a turtle my father and Mary gave him for his birthday. He likes to hold the caps under the running water. Lately I have to put him in the tub while the water is running because he insists on playing in the running water and gets very upset when I turn it off.
This morning we had enough time to walk around outside before leaving. This week I finally figured out how to balance the air in the tires on the lawn mower so that the cut is fairly even. It takes around an hour and twenty minutes to mow the entire lawn.
Wish us luck on the three hour flight tomorrow. I am carrying Henry as a lap child, since his passport indicates he is under two years old. We will have to leave home around 5 in the morning to make it to the airport on time.

Birthday Party!

Saturday was the big day--a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese for Henry's birthday. I'd never been to that place before--it was crowded and noisy but Henry was okay. I'm not used to hosting this kind of party, but they do a lot for you at this place. There were 12 children and Henry and 15 adults and me who were there.
The first part of the party is playing around an arcade area. Henry didn't do any of the games--he just played on the big slide. He did like to hold my hand and walk around looking at everyone, but he did not seem interested in doing anything.
We had 90 minutes allocated to us in the party area. Places were set for the children and they were served pizza and drinks. I had brought a huge cake, much too big for all of us and thankfully some people took pieces home with them. I got the Speed Racer cake--and it wasn't that much difference to get a full sheet cake than it was to get a half. I would have preferred a 3/4 sheet cake but they didn't make that size.
After the pizza a group of the wait staff came out with somebody dressed in a big mouse costume and sang Happy Birthday. There were three or four other parties going on in the area. Some of the children got up and danced with the mouse but Henry seemed more scared of him than interested in dancing with him.
Then came the cake. It has been hard for me to let go and allow Henry to feed himself and inevitably make a mess. I purposely got the buttercream frosting rather than the whipped frosting because I thought it was less messy--but it's all a mess whatever way you look at it.

Henry prefers to eat with his hands, and the thick layer of frosting gave him lots to coat his fingers with.
When I first brought him home he didn't seem to like sweets. I guess going to the Children's Center here on campus has exposed him to the prevalence of sweets in the American diet and while I wouldn't say he craves it he does have a better liking for sweets now.
But it continues to be a struggle to just sit by while he makes a mess all over his face and hands.
After the cake, and what amounted to a small bath at the table to clean away the frosting, it came time to open the presents. We've had an ongoing struggle for Henry to let other people hold him, especially people that I trust, who are friends or family. That has been a goal in working with ECI (Early Childhood Intervention). So it was another big development when Henry sat happily in Chase's lap while I opened the presents.
Henry got lots of interesting and fun presents. He likes cars and music, much of the toys were related to one or both. He also got some nice clothes and other things.

Overall the party was a success. It was tiring but I wanted to do something to bring together friends and family to celebrate Henry's birthday and also his coming into my life. I am really grateful for the support I get from everyone as I continue the venture of raising Henry as a single parent.

Cindy McCain in Vietnam!

Most of us who are interested in adoption from Vietnam are probably aware that Cindy McCain is currently traveling throughout the country as an agent for Operation Smile, an organization that gives help to children born with facial deformities. Last night I saw her interviewed from Hanoi, and today she is in Nha Trang. She will travel on to Thailand and Cambodia, and will also lend whatever assistance she can to the crisis in Burma.

With the difficulties going on with adoptions from Vietnam right now I am hoping that the McCains' involvement will give help bring about a solution. The McCains adopted their daughter Bridget in the 90s from Mother Teresa's orphanage in Bangladesh. The adoption community is lucky to have an experienced voice for international adoption in such a high profile position.

Happy Birthday, Happy Juneteenth!

Yesterday as we were driving home Henry got a head start on celebrating his birthday. We were singing and he waved his arms and babbled. When we got home there was a package from my father and Mary. I put one of the outfits they sent on him this morning and stopped at the duck pond to take a photo of him. He wasn't scared of the ducks, but they didn't seem to be as aggressive as they were the last time we went.
We are having a party on Saturday, and I really hadn't thought about doing anything at the children's center. But they asked me this morning when I dropped him off if I wanted to bring anything for a party. So I bought enough cupcakes for everyone and went over there at 2 for their afternoon snack. They sang "Happy Birthday" to Henry.
I had to stay over there for a while before all the children woke up. Henry was so happy to see me, he ran to me as fast as he could (and almost tripped) and the after I picked him up he turned and started waving and saying "bye" to everyone, like he thought we were leaving. By the time I really did leave he was eating the cupcake and luckily wasn't distressed.

Oh I do want to mention that today is Juneteenth in Texas (and it's spread to some other states). On 19 June, 1865 the Union army arrived in Galveston harbor and brought the news that the slaves had been set free some two and a half years earlier by a proclamation that Lincoln had made almost three years earlier. It was of course a great celebration and the day has continued to be an important day of remembrance here.

My first Father's Day

On Saturday I took Henry to a birthday party for DJ, whose mother works with me. He had fun eating the cake and playing with toys. He doesn't seem to be at the point of interactive play with other children, though he does play alongside others. DJ looks rather incredulously at the Korn CD I got him for his birthday. Maybe I'll learn over time to buy presents for children.

After the party I drove to Paris to look for some clothes for Henry to wear to his own party next Saturday. On the way I went through the Evergreen Cemetery--I had heard and read about the "Cowboy Jesus" monument there, but had never seen it. Since I had some extra time I drove around until I found it. Note that Jesus is carrying his cross while wearing cowboy boots!
Sunday was typical--we went to church and then came home and rested. I have learned to time our arrival at church to right before it starts, giving me as big a window of quietness as possible. I also don't give him any milk until we get to church, extending the quiet time while he hungrily drinks down a bottle. But I usually end up taking him out into another room anyway after twenty minutes because it is just too stressful to try to keep him still and quiet.

Related to that--I am starting to dread the trip to California next week. Thank goodness I did find a non stop flight to the Santa Ana airport, but the news reports about air travel have made it sound like it is going to be an ordeal. I am flying American, which is supposed to start charging for checked bags. Luckily I am a gold level member so that wouldn't apply to me even if I hadn't bought my ticket in advance of the change. But it will still create tension on the flight, I think.

Also there is the ordeal of getting from my car to the gate via the airport shuttle. When I flew back from Wisconsin I had two bags and Henry as well as a carry on. I had to crawl over people who were sitting by the door because they wouldn't get out of my way. So I'm trying to travel as lightly as possible. I'm taking the all polyester dress shirts I bought for Vietnam--they hand wash easily and dry in less than two hours.

But the carry-ons are a nightmare now. Before they started charging for checked bags people were already trying to bring all their stuff onto the plane, cramming it into the overhead bins. Now it's going to be even worse. I'll have to have my backpack (mostly filled with Henry's stuff), a diaper bag, my laptop, the snuggli, the stroller, and the carseat (which is a mini travel size, it's just a back, there are no arm rests or seat).

Flying back from Wisconsin I wrapped my laptop really well and packed it in my checked bag. Then when I got home and opened the bag the laptop was setting on the top with no padding at all. I'm not sure why the baggage inspectors rummage through the stuff and then don't pack it back like it was, but it makes me fearful about trying to put it in my checked bag.

Feeding the ducks

I found a picture frame suitable for children and put a photo of my mother in it. Henry seems to recognize her, he hold the photo up to his face and babbles.
I've looked forward to feeding the ducks and geese with Henry. They just relandscaped the small lake where they live. All I had yesterday were shoestring potatoes, which I don't think are the best thing for them because they can't pick them up with their bills and they have no other way to get food to their mouths. I've got to remember to bring bread.
Henry seems a little reluctant to mix with the animals, especially the gesse that are bigger than him. They all seem fairly tame--I think they relocated two or three aggressive ducks to the grassland project outside of town. I tried to get Henry to feed them, but whatever I gave him went into his own mouth instead of the ducks. We'll make this a regular activity and he will learn.